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Sep 4

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Love is all you need.

This Labor Day weekend was one of much introspection. While attending a wedding of dear friends hosted in our College town, there was much nostalgia and reflection. There was also a lot of commentary on the fact that apparently college females no longer wear clothing, but alas mostly the former. We laughed, visited some favorite haunts, and danced to the songs we have for years.
It was one of those crossroads where the past was very present. Through photos, favored stories, and inside jokes we revisited the moments that have forever impacted our lives. The weekend was about love, but to me of course it was also about friendship. Walking down College Ave was a unique moment, for it wasn’t one that was filled with desire to go back in time. It was one where I was grateful for all of the moments I have had and friends I have made, but it reconfirmed my position in the present.  Thankfully this position is one with many of those that I was with back in College by my side.

Additionally, I am grateful to greet fall: my favorite season. Fall is the time when NYC begins to smell less like sewage and more like air. It is when said air is filled with possibility, perhaps because it becomes dry enough to actually perform daily tasks without profuse sweating. And where I can once again pretend I will go apple picking. One thing that wasn’t left behind once my schooling ended is the school year calendar.  I am happy to take with me the things from the past I favor most and say goodbye to summer.  Cheers to love and cheers to friendship. And here is to a school year that outperforms the last. 

Aug 21

Oh Portland

As a sporadic symptom of ongoing anxiety, I tend to over prepare for the possibility of becoming homeless. I often times will think to myself or comment aloud when I see suitable shelter, food options, or places I would shower if I am ever in need. In fact I had  recently selected the perfect alcove within some scaffolding across the street from my office to be my homeless nook, which has since been removed, but I digress. My newest discovery in the art of being sans home is Portland, Oregon.
During a recent business trip I have discovered this would be the perfect haven for those finding themselves dwelling within the streets. First and foremost: climate. I was only there for 3 days, but it was perfectly warm and dry, which is a plus when you are sleeping outside and don’t have regular access to an ice bath. Secondly, there are lots of trees and grass. I would just need to invest in a tent and I am pretty sure I could sustain myself on many a grassy knoll throughout the city. Other important factors include; a multitude of eating and drinking establishments and affable residents leaving said establishments, which favorably influence the possibility for leftovers and friendly banter.
Overall I think I would enjoy living on the streets of Portland more than most cities. The overarching plus is definitely the cleanliness factor. It appears that composting, free range hipsters keep a clean city and although I would prefer my heavenly bed, if I were forced to the streets, for now I would choose Portland’s.

Aug 5

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Not to get political but…

It’s been a while. I was going to blog about what makes Portland, Oregon so great. Or why music is so important. Until suddenly, I was under political attack by my Parents’ (now my Dad’s) friends. Why would I be voting for whom I plan to vote in November? Not surprisingly, I had an answer and they did not. I do not need to get into for whom I plan to vote. It is obvious since everyone who reads this knows me. The thing that scares me is that so many people do not plan to vote.
I beg of you. Please vote. I clearly would love for you to vote on my side, but mostly I want people to stand behind his or her beliefs. Tonight I was asked why I planned to vote for my candidate. And sadly it was in an aggressive versus a conversational manner. I have an interesting stance. I have been given a lot.  I wasn’t born with a silver spoon in my mouth by any means, but I have not had to ask for much. I have received an Ivy League education and a summer home, luxuries most do not receive. And my parents worked extremely hard, from the ground up to give them to me.
Did they give their blood, sweat, and tears to make this happen? Definitely. Were there government programs in place to help them along the way to help them? Absolutely. I am for the people. I have always been for the people. And I will always be for the people. I will never agree that American citizens do not need assistance to help them sustain themselves. Of course I believe in Capitalism. If you work hard you should be able to get ahead. But everyone is not given a level playing field and I believe our government is what can help America make us the country that everyone talks about. The place where you can achieve the American Dream.
I believe in America. I don’t believe in hypocrisy. Please think about what matters most to you and who you truly think can make that happen.  And most of all remember cocktail party etiquette and leave the politics, religion, and money behind.

Jun 12

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C’est la vie. C’est la guerre.

In an effort to reintegrate our Catholic faith into our lives, my family has built a bond with a priest in CT. He has offered much solace during an otherwise hectic and tumultuous time. One statement he made that has provided much comfort is that we should look for signs of my mom’s spirit around us. I have found her to be present in many ways from rainbows to constellations and  acts of coincidence and fate.  I realized I took it a bit too far when I became convinced her spirit ate my bacon on Sunday. But I miss her, I can’t help it. And maybe that means I am looking to hard, but  I am starting to realize that she won’t be around to do the things that used to make me laugh or maybe even cause annoyance.
I’ll never forget the time my mom helped me move into an apt in Florida and then we decided to check out a local hotel bar with an alleged amazing rotating view of the city. However, when we arrived it became evident this was now event space and longer a functioning bar. We discovered this as an employee informed us of such upon our entrance, however of course my mom wanted to check it out. It turned out to be a Native American tribal reunion at which each attendee was fully decked out in traditional dress and clearly of Native American descent. Although we were two pale white ladies in shorts and Capri pants,  she was convinced we could just blend in and “enjoy the music”. Of course I was humiliated, but humored the same and secretly had a blast jamming out to  a super zealous flautist. I loved that she was up for anything. As always, she was flexible where I was tentative.
She would often say “c’est la vie, c’est la guerre”, amongst several other random sporadic French statements, left over from the French nuns of her childhood. I believe the loose meaning is “such is life such is war.” She rolled with the punches, even the final punch in the most graceful possible way. Flexibility was always her way,  where I am unwillingly ruffled by the twists and turns life invariably produces.
Another amazing trait possessed by my mom was her desire to listen. I am not saying she always succeeded, there were times when she would inevitably have to tune out the 10th time in a row I called crying about a rodent or pest or the in depth description of a mundane task performed at work. However, mostly she had the rare desire to hear about your day, savor it, and most likely ask you to repeat it to her friends later if she found it amusing. This would drive me crazy, as I would fear the joy she received from my tales wouldn’t carry over to others and often times I would balk at her request. Needless to say I wouldn’t mind repeating things a few more times. I miss you and love you, these hydrangeas are for you woman.  

Jun 5

Is entrepreneurship dead?

A few weeks ago, as I strolled along the beach in CT with my father, we encountered a young girl handing out flyers for her lemonade stand down the street. I read the sheet and was immediately outraged. Her “Lemonade Stand” would be open that day from 1-3- or maybe longer. 
“Maybe longer??” I shouted into the wind. “Where has the work ethic gone?” I spewed in disgust to my father. We joked about this for a few paces more. Would she be donating the money to a local charity I hope- we teased- due to her swanky address. 
But seriously- my childhood enterprise was way better than this lazy little sprite, with her fluctuating hours. It all began with two scrappy girls and an idea. An idea that we could pick up shells and other treasures from the beach and the world would buy them from us at our home storefront. We called it The Shell Stand and after a few successful years we expanded into the restaurant world with the launch of the ME muffin café.
The  premise behind the ME (aptly named after Marissa and Emily) Muffin Café is that we would scrape together $1 a week essentially to purchase a box of Jiffy Muffin Mix, which my mom would then bake for us, and then we would resell them to her and my business associate’s parents on a daily basis.  We also sold them coffee they made. We worked long hard hours, for less than minimum wage and I think it truly was one of the pivotal experiences in my life that shaped me into the person I am today.
Is this drive and determination lost on the current generation? Perhaps I should start a mentoring program… or we may all be at a loss for lemonade.

Jun 1

Reality Check

Have you ever sat back and compared your pre-planned future with its present reality? I am in constant awe of the passage of time and how seemingly little things change, while all the while my reality has been astronomically altered. Did I think this is what my life would have been like as a doe eyed lass? Did I realize I wouldn’t actually be a famous actress, veterinarian, or astronaut? No, but I also never received any sort of psychic certification so I kind of had that coming.

As what I like to call a “practical dreamer”, I don’t tend to look too much on the past, I am more of a forward thinker, however I find myself in a state of contemplation of late. Although I may not be spending my time sans gravity ,as I may have dreamed at one point, I also never could have predicted I would have a life filled with such amazing individuals, some of whom have been a part of it for many years and many monumental moments.

Although I need to work harder at taking advantage of all of the opportunities that surround me, especially in the amazing city that is New York, I do feel extremely lucky. I live in one of the world’s greatest cities in an apartment I can almost afford. I have even explored many cultural happenings such as purchasing illegal margaritas in the outlying sections of Central Park during Summer Stage, posing as art dealers at the Frieze Art Fair (mostly for free champagne), and most importantly traversed to Brooklyn for several delights involving Tikis, Discos, and other delicious treats. If it is at all possible, I will uncover new jewels I am sure.

In other news due to airport security and increased internet privacy rumors I have determined to phase out my usage of the phrase da bomb, however I am replacing it with a more universally friendly I be jammin’. Neither really make much sense in my day-to-day conversation, however life always seems a little better with ill placed out of date jargon. Peace. Out.

May 23

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Things My Mom Taught Me

A few years ago I had a blog. I never really wrote about much and I basically only had one reader, my mom. Actually I had a few more based on knowledge attained by nerding out to some Google analytics., but regardless, I stopped writing for a while. I was having a hard time finding life to be amusing enough to warrant commentary. Now, having recently lost my main reader and supporter, I would like to remember her here and often and resurrect my once beloved blog. To be succinct, my mom was the best. A lot of people may consider their mom their best friend and I am definitely in that camp, but she far surpassed that role. Beyond giving birth to me, for which I am truly grateful, she was my number one supporter and fan. She was my motivator, my therapist, my teacher, and my stand up comedian. She had an absolutely amazing ability to know exactly which hat to wear when I needed it just by the tone of my voice. So I called often. It may not be the coolest admission, but I have always preferred my mom’s company (and Dad’s but this post is about Mom) to many others and before she got sick they were always on the invite list to each of my swinging gatherings. My mom was also amazingly quirky, while simultaneously getting along with almost every person she encountered. Below are some of my favorite Mom-isms that I will plan bestow upon my own offspring. I share them here so that you may perhaps glean something from her knowledge as well.

1.“Life is not fair.” – This one is painfully true, but always allowed me to keep it somewhat real. Before things got real…

2.“Find your passion.” A realist, my mom always pushed me to realize that life is too short not to follow your passion.

3.“The writing is on the wall” Said realism allowed my mother to offer complete clarity on any given situation. “It is pretty black and white- if he doesn’t bring you soup when you have mono, the writing is on the wall. He’s just not that into you.” She could and should have written that book and movie.

4.“If you don’t want to go out, just tell your friends you have a bad period.” This mentioned in a previous post and was some of the most hilarious and awkward advice I have ever received, however my mom was always super helpful in getting me out of things I didn’t want to do. And usually without using the aforementioned suggested embarrassing excuse.

5.“Okay what really happened?” My mom was quite perceptive and knew I tend to twist the truth to cast a more favorable glow over myself at times. She never would take a biased side and pretty much always knew when I was in the wrong. Pure honesty was always delivered. This went with clothing shopping as well.

Above all, my mom made me the person I am today, and more important still, the person I want to become. I am sure more of this sage wisdom will surface throughout the days and months, as I continue to remember my mom and I am sure everyone has some gems from their own family. Enjoy them, savor them, and remember them.

Jun 14

heat delirium.

Today as I was lying in a pool of communal semi anonymous sweat, my Bikram instructor informed me that, as humans, we can either choose that life is hard or choose that life is good. As I lay there praying for her to shut up so I could escape the 110 degree heat, I deciphered she had a solid point. However since she continued and I had more time to mull/ nearly lose consciousness I determined she is ultimately wrong, one does not choose that life is hard OR good. One might be able to choose to be happier, but ultimately life is hard, there is no doubt about it, and that is partially what makes it so good.

This past weekend I was taken back to a time when life was easy, College. At my five-year reunion I reflected on times when the world was literally my oyster. Life was so good that when it was all over I was literally carried off of campus kicking, screaming, and hysterically crying. Let’s just say the only reason I left willingly is because I was bribed with cheese and champagne. The point is, I thought my life was over once college came to a close and even though things have been substantially harder since then, it is pretty difficult for me to consent that life isn’t good. Life was much easier then, but I would rather be the person I am today than go back.

“Real” life is filled with “real” problems. Nary a day goes by that isn’t inflicted with bills, jobs, and disease, issues that are extremely difficult to navigate. But as the old cliché goes, “your greatest suffering is also your greatest joy” or something along those lines. There are also great friends and family to help you through the bad days and celebrate the good ones. And there is champagne. So in sum, Bikram doesn’t know everything, but it does feel good to sweat off a weekend of gluttony. And although I don’t necessarily agree with today’s closing sentiment, I do believe in optimism. So although it might not be easy- here is hoping the best is yet to come!

May 11

Shit My Parents Say

You’ve probably heard of Shit My Dad Says- it’s an extremely popular blog and I think they might have made it into some sort of feature film. Anyway, my parents are also quite hilarious, and in the vein of things that make me happy, here are a few recent parent-isms that have me laughing. I have broken them into categories for ease of skimming.

Problem Solving
Me: “Mom I don’t want to go out tonight.”
My Mom: “Eh just tell them you have a really bad period”
Me: “Yeah Mom- I am not going to say that to anyone…ever.”

Current Events
Me: “Mom isn’t it crazy about Bin Laden?”
My Mom: “I know! Didn’t they look gorgeous?”
Me: “Mom I am talking about Bin Laden, terrorist leader, being
killed… not the royal wedding.”

Wedding Planning
My Dad: “So we have a couple of different ideas for the
rehearsal dinner, either an art gallery with passed hors d’oeuvres and a jazz quartet or we can go out on a lobster boat and do a harbor cruise.”
Me: “Dad I am so glad we are prepared with this information, but you realize I don’t even have a boyfriend right?”

Watching TV
My Mom: “Let’s Watch Gigolo.” (Pronounced Giggalo)
Me: “Mom is that appropriate what is it about?”
My Dad: “It’s about women that pay men for sex, Marissa”
Me: “Oh well that doesn’t really happen does it?”
My Dad: “Yes Marissa you are 26 years old you are now old enough to know about these kinds of things”
ME: “Okay so we are sure this is a family appropriate show?”
One minute and several severely awkward seconds later
My Mom: “Nope not appropriate.”

Apr 27

A little more happy.

I figured I have to at least perform two consecutive weeks of this happiness journaling so I will now share a few things this week past that brought a little smile to my lips.

1.The sidewalk hosing has commenced, which = Spring!!! I think I even saw someone washing a car!
2.I got my hands dirty with an Earth Day project for work. Feeling soil on my hands brought me back to my vegetable garden glory days. Uncovering sewage within a planting pot was only a mild obstacle to landscaping ecstasy.
3.A Fantastic Easter Sunday. Champagne? Check. Caviar? Check? Family including a baby niece who has nearly tripled in size? Check! What more could a gal want…well I can think of a few things, but it was a great day nonetheless.
4.Stephen Colbert’s rendition of The Friday Song/The Friday song in general. I may be about two months late on this and it may not be appropriate to have these feelings, but I can’t help but love this girl and her terrible terrible song. It almost makes me like braces.

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