I was recently perusing a children’s clothing/toy store when I spotted something called the Elf on the Shelf. I had heard mention of this Elf, but it wasn’t until now that I began to comprehend the concept of the Elf. Essentially parents move this little Christmas Elf around the house to offer the impression that the elf is Santas’s snitch monitoring the child’s behavior until Christmas morning so that their gifting level is commensurate to their goodness. It was then that I began to realize that most childhood traditions, much like Santa’s surveillance, are beyond a reasonable level of creepiness.
1. So we all agree that Santa is crossing some privacy barriers…and is a little bit of a stalker, but at least he brings presents so it works out… I don’t know this is iffy.
2. The Tooth Fairy? Gross. Why does she need so many teeth? Is she building a model of the universe created entirely of baby teeth? Psycho.
3. The Easter bunny? Also kind of a weirdo. Why is a giant bunny delivering baskets of poor quality candy? I mean I don’t hate it, but it’s kind of all over the place as a concept.
In addition to a tooth hoarding fairy, a creepy bunny, and pervy old guy, Kids also have to deal with Monsters in the closet and under the bed, the boogeyman, and the chicken pox. Conclusion: the life of a child is absolutely terrifying. Side bar, I love all holidays.
Nostalgia is incredible. I would venture that beyond love it is the strongest emotion. Basically, it is one of the most feelingy feelings I have. I trend towards sentimental, it’s party of my senility, so I recently I got to reminiscing about some notable past moments. Only I can make a day of mulling over nostalgia, however I went with it. Most often I think of these instances as I drift to sleep, performing my own brand agnostic equivalent to prayer so that I may revisit them in my dreams.
This strategy of time travel rarely works and when it does I am so caught off guard I can’t properly enjoy it, wasting most of the dream trying to decipher its reality. This is getting a little too mushy, moving on. Whenever possible, these are the moments I most savor.
Bowls of snow with warm maple syrup. Or more accurately forcing my beloved Beauty Senior to enjoy this wonderful delight.
Getting penny candy at nearby Old fashioned candy stores. Satellite wafers, weighing essentially nothing offering the greatest deal of eternity, until they figured this out stopped charging by weight. Sad day for all of us.
Digging clams in sun or rain, or any weather condition for that matter. With my Mom. This mostly consisted of gossiping and standing in the water.
Our annual Christmas Tree cutting excursion. Nothing is better than picking a perfect tree with cider, carols, and family.
There are many more, but these are the simplest ones that I revisit most often. I wish all of you the best of luck reminiscing, and if you find yourself face to face with favored moments in your dreams try to relax and enjoy them all over again. What are your favorite moments?