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Shit My Parents Say

You’ve probably heard of Shit My Dad Says- it’s an extremely popular blog and I think they might have made it into some sort of feature film. Anyway, my parents are also quite hilarious, and in the vein of things that make me happy, here are a few recent parent-isms that have me laughing. I have broken them into categories for ease of skimming.

Problem Solving
Me: “Mom I don’t want to go out tonight.”
My Mom: “Eh just tell them you have a really bad period”
Me: “Yeah Mom- I am not going to say that to anyone…ever.”

Current Events
Me: “Mom isn’t it crazy about Bin Laden?”
My Mom: “I know! Didn’t they look gorgeous?”
Me: “Mom I am talking about Bin Laden, terrorist leader, being
killed… not the royal wedding.”

Wedding Planning
My Dad: “So we have a couple of different ideas for the
rehearsal dinner, either an art gallery with passed hors d’oeuvres and a jazz quartet or we can go out on a lobster boat and do a harbor cruise.”
Me: “Dad I am so glad we are prepared with this information, but you realize I don’t even have a boyfriend right?”

Watching TV
My Mom: “Let’s Watch Gigolo.” (Pronounced Giggalo)
Me: “Mom is that appropriate what is it about?”
My Dad: “It’s about women that pay men for sex, Marissa”
Me: “Oh well that doesn’t really happen does it?”
My Dad: “Yes Marissa you are 26 years old you are now old enough to know about these kinds of things”
ME: “Okay so we are sure this is a family appropriate show?”
One minute and several severely awkward seconds later
My Mom: “Nope not appropriate.”