For the past few days I have been journeying throughout a land I like to call Florida. As you know this is to be my new home in a few short, but activity filled weeks. While in this wondrous place I was able to find myself a home and learn a bit about the area. I must admit at first I was a bit nervous about the move with visions of alligator nibbles and Bridge nights taunting me through many a sleepless night. Mullets and pastels nauseated me during each morning meal. Sun poisoning and monsoons gave me goosebumps and ulcers. But after four days in my new home town I can assure you I will be a-okay. After many a fact seeking mission my partner in crime and I counted at least 3 people under the age of 30, this is a good start! And if they are ever for some reason unavailable to socialize, BINGO is being played at any given point during any given day. This is excellent because not only am I am excellent BINGO player, I also have been known to be a superb BINGO number caller. So either way I am set for life. And in terms of the whole tack factor, it turns out Floridians actually have quite a keen sense of style so I will feel right at home. I was fortunate enough to find a furnished apartment under my budget that is move- in ready. For those unfamiliar with the term, this means I basically can pack a duffle bag and I am good to go! Forget furniture buying, painting, or decorating, this baby ready. Luckily I was able to take a few pictures so I can share my bliss with all of my faithful readers.
If you know me or anyone else that may be moving to Florida here are some tips on what to say and not to say about this move. Do Say, “Wow that is exciting, I can’t wait to visit”, “You’ll get so many visitors”, “What a fun place to move after College”, “I am jealous”, “I’ll move there with you”, “You are going to be so successful, tan, and beautiful down there” (note you can say this even if it is impossible for this person to become tan due to pigmentation complications), or you can also say “I know such and such person that lives there, I will tell them all about you and you can become best friends”. Please refrain from saying, “Oh be careful of the aligators”, “Oh I just heard about this guy that got eaten by an alligator”, “I just read about a girl that lost her hand to an alligator”, “What?! Be careful of the hurricanes”, “Ohhhh did you hear about this huge hurricane that maimed a baby”, “Ohhh but aren’t you going to be SOOOO hot?!?!?”, “What?!?! you are moving all by yourself?? Aren’t you scared?? BE CAREFUL”, and finally “Oh my god Florida??? I just read a story about how during a hurricane this single girl’s condo blew away and an alligator bit off her face.” Please head this advice carefully, it will grant you great success in conversations about this topic in the future. Happy Chatting!
You’ve probably been wondering where I’ve been. And the answer is: doing big important things! I am trying to regulate my inner cooling system by doing Bikram yoga (think yoga in a sauna) and also I have created this new blog for my mom! check it out at : http://sockmonkeycreatures.blogspot.com/
I received word that I have been letting down my devoted blog readers by not posting regularly. This all started when my computer died and then never really started up again because let’s face it I don’t have a whole lot going on to write about. Prior to my graduation I envisioned my summer days jam packed with wholesome activities ranging from biking to baking. An article in Food and Wine inspired me to take up cheese making and I planned to start with soft ricottas and goats before moving on to harder cheddars and parmesans. I planned to start each day greeting the sun with yoga and meditation and end with meaningful and pensive walks along the beach. I planned to write poetry and drink lattes at independent coffee shops. I was going to start eating only pure and organic foods. Well needless to say it’s the end of week two and all I have managed to do is keep a special place on the couch pretty warm for about 15 hours out of each 24. I tried to keep busy I even planned to go to a yoga class with a friend. But just the thought of it exhausted me. I think I realized I am not cut out for actual activity. In fact I have adapted quite nicely to my new lifestyle. Today for example, I rose at about 1 pm and enjoyed a bowl of cereal with my parents. I then retired to my couch area to watch a Red Sox game, which was actually rained out so I fell back on my contingency plan (see I am a well prepared TV viewer) and began to watch several hours of the Food Network. At this point I became exhausted and decided to head up to my boudoir for a short nap. A few hours later I prepared some dinner and returned to the TV for two Lifetime movies and some Saturday Night Live. Fortunately it was a delightful episode from the past which features a favored digital short that I featured on the blog several posts ago. Although this may not seem like much to others I am quite proud of my accomplishments. In my two post graduate weeks I have not yet been fired from my job, turned to cocaine, attempted rape or suicide, or turned into a stalker. According to a fine film from a fine decade (St. Elmo’s Fire) these are sensible outcomes of post graduate confusion so I figure I am doing alright! And I was also just diagnosed with a severe disease, which I have concluded gives me the exclusive right to laze about for at least a few more days. And once I am all healed I am quite certain that I will be doing all sorts of nutrient dense, intellectually stimulating, and world improving activities and I will certainly be keeping the world posted via the blog.