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Digital Who What Now?

In the recent past, it has come to my attention that I am officially old. I don’t know if I somehow blacked out or entered a coma for a few years, but I have become completely out of touch with how the current world operates. It all started when I told a friend I would tweet her from St. John to let her know how my trip was going. Then I realized that I don’t think you can actually tweet someone and even if it were possible, I don’t know how to do it.

Four Square? Isn’t that a recess pastime in which a dodge ball is passed from one student to another in chalk drawn court? Apparently it is now an online tracking system in which users can run micro communities and predators can monitor one’s every move. I tried to participate, but I think I actually was thinking of the previous version and I have yet to successfully become the mayor of any online businesses.

Chat Roulette? Maybe I am just sensitive, but I don’t need another venue in which to get instantly rejected or otherwise horrified. I am not sure of the end goal for this service, but I definitely am too scared to find out. I don’t have an iphone or an ipad or any kind of berry. Other than the frozen strawberries in my freezer for a.m. smoothies. I guess I need to enter the digital era? I might start to get a little lonely all by myself in the real world.

And finally- the reason why I love New York currently. Yesterday I had a picnic in central park, played chess, and planted my very own marigold in honor of Earth day. Central Park- I love you and plan on having as many picnics as physically possible now that my picnic backpack has been replenished. See you around!

Show a little compassion.

While witnessing somewhat of a break-up last week while out dining with a friend, I had a pretty substantial revelation. Although, I cannot be certain of what I witnessed since this is in no way about me, but a stranger at a restaurant, the intimate nature of the restaurant allowed me to heavily eavesdrop and observe and my overall extraction from their painful dialogue was that this was indeed a break-up. Based on my gatherings, I reached the conclusion that there should be a dress code for break-ups.

If you know you are going to have a serious discussion that could potentially end emotionally or uncomfortably, you need to dress for the occasion. You want to look composed enough to indicate your care for the other person, but casual enough to designate that this is not a date that will end on a celebratory note. Darker colors might be appropriate and convenient in the event that you need to make a quick getaway from your venue if the recipient causes a scene.

In this particular situation the female, who I will note, in an unbiased fashion, was shockingly gorgeous, was dressed in a grey dress with black tights and flats. This is a safe choice for any occasion; however the male was sporting a glorified version of a Hawaiian shirt with jeans. I will also note here that it was clear that the male was putting the kibosh on the relationship.

If you are bringing an unsuspecting person into a negative relationship space, don’t mock the solemn tone of the event with a Hawaiian shirt. Hawaiian shirts indicate your desire to start a conga line, roast a pig, or consume a million daiquiris. It should not however, indicate the end of a romance. A button down, subdued tee or a muted sweater would be appropriate. If you have festive plans post break up, wear a little something to cover the flamboyance of your party top.

Alternatively, if I were to initiate the end of a love I wouldn’t wear anything too revealing or low-cut. I am aware that I am exceptionally considerate, however I find this similar to wearing a mini skirt to church, shorts to a funeral, or a long white dress to someone else’s wedding. It’s just inappropriate. I know I committed to focusing on my love for New York for posts moving forward so I will leave with this, the day following awkward break-up I was able to get my knives sharpened, new spring scent selected, and kitty groomed in under an hour. God I love this glorious land of convenience. I vow to remain more focused following my long awaited tropical beach getaway next week.