As some of you may or may not know 1 week ago was my first experience attending my University’s homecoming as an alumna. I recall last year feeling a certain distate for those that returned for the game. I felt they were taking up unneccesary room in my bars and that they detracted from my overall enjoyment of the weekend. I did not understand why these individuals would feel they had the right to come back for this game and act as if they had never left school. Why wouldn’t they hang out in their hotel bars or other more sophisticated venues with the other alumni? Why would they choose to hang out with slovenly undergrads partaking in a weekend of binge drinking and other debaucherous merrimaking? Wasn’t the real world much more interesting than this contained community of mind altered non-reality? This is where my recent life experience becomes extremely valuable. The answer is “No”. In actuality the real world is not only not more interesting, it is in fact dull. As soon as I made my move down to Florida I booked my ticket to homecoming weekend. And after that ticket was booked every glich in my day was combatted with the thought that in 4 short weeks, three short weeks, 2, etc I would be going back to Ithaca. When the day actually arrived I was a mess. I tried cooling my nerves with a cocktail at the airport. This did not help and when my plane was delayed a fit of hysterics errupted. Another cocktail on the plane did not do the trick. But talking to every single passenger and flight attendant on the plane did. Not a minute after entering the plane I am pretty sure every passenger knew I had just moved to Florida, just graduated from Cornell, was going to my first homecoming and was most likely going to miss my connecting flight in Detroit. I had people mapping out the fastest route to the gate, I had people praying, I had people giving up their seat so I could get closer to the front of the plane to ensure a smooth exit from the plane, even though most others would be missing connections as well. Due to a small miracle and the fabulous persuasion of my dear friend awaiting me on my connecting flight I somehow made it and thus, began the greatest weekend of my life and my feeble attempts to trick the rest of campus into thinking I was still a student. Upon arrival in Ithaca New York, I immediately purchased a new Cornell sweatshirt, which became a permanent fixture on my body for the next week. Had I not stopped to take a picture or cry every 3 feet while trapsing around campus, I might have even fooled a few current students into thinking I still attended this Academic stomping ground. And the weekend itself it was in fact great. For three all too short days I felt like I had never even left. I ate at all my favorite restaurants, chatted with all my favorite teachers, had my favorite drinks at my favorite bars served by my favorite bartenders. And truth be told, if undergrads were feeling the way I did last year, I didn’t even notice, because I was having way to much fun. I have absolutely no qualms about returning to the exquisite event for many years to come and cannot wait for the day I give birth so that I can commence feeding my newborn “Cornell” propoganda to ensure his or her application 17 years from that day. I can just picture those “Somebody at Cornell loves Me” onsies now…
of things that piss me off. i know i know, to accomplish this is not a difficult feat, however since it brings me so much joy to complain about them, I feel it all comes out in the wash. The following are in no particular order.
1. Yesterday I was driving in my fabulous Honda rocking out to some jamming tunes. AKA a sentimental mix made during college since this is all I listen to these days. Anyway so I am rocking out/ weeping when I turn my head to see yet another F ing Hummer taking up the three lanes to my right. Oh god, not another one I thought to myself but continued to jam. Then I noted their license plate and saw that it was a “Save our Reefs” license plate. This is the part that irked me. ” Alright A hole, lets all get on that. Lets all put on some dive gear and rush off to save our reefs. How about instead of you paying $50 bucks for a license plate you stop driving around a vehicle thats bigger than my entire apartment, polluting my air, sucking up all of the gas in the world, and obstructing my view on the highway??? “(Side note I have nothing against the reefs, they are fabulous… and even though I harbor an inexplicable fear of the sea, I have nothing but the utmost respect for its inhabitants).
2. So my life is not so fascinating, I have a few days a week where it is wonderful and sunny and one of my few joys is to go and sit out by the pool and try to catch some rays (hey a girl can dream can’t she?) This past Sunday I am doing just that. It is 9:30, full sun, pretty much 500% humidity and I am relaxing on my chaise. The birds are chirping, I am sipping some cafe, life couldn’t be better. Thats when the little terrors arrive. A group of three boys that proceed to spend the next hour playing “Lets pretend to drown each other while screaming bloody murder”. Boys will be boys I suppose, but what gets me is their absent mother. She is sitting there with some aging gentleman discussing how kids have no boundries blah blah and how you can profile bad kids, etc. Come on!!!! Stop talking about the nation’s children and judging a book by its cover, when your own A Hole children are running around pretending to kill each other. Okay I judge that your bratty kids are cold blooded murders with no discipline! NEXT!
3. Designing Women. Seriously. Why is this show on Nick at Nite? This is really completely ruining my daily routine. Every night I would watch a couple of Roseanne episodes to soothe my nerves before bedtime. Its almost like a valium for me, it calms me… zones me out, makes me happy. Now every night I turn on my tube and what is one, but DESIGNING WOMEN!!!! Someone help me!!!! Get this program off tv, doesn’t everyone realize why this show hasn’t been on any channel for 10 years…. Its because it SUCKS! And it is way too emotional. I have already cried twice because of a traumatic scene dealing with AIDS and another about an abandoned child. I commend the program for tackling such important issues, especially the first time around, but I don’t need this kind of emotional drama. MORE ROSEANNE, LESS DESIGNING WOMEN.
4. This actually makes me happy. Three cheers for Panera Bread. I am usually not a sucker for any sort of chain other than my Dunkin Donuts, but this one is fabulous for one sole purpose. Free Wi-Fi!!! No more lonely days at home, I have an office!!! And it has free iced tea! Now I just need to see if they will make my copies and send my faxes….