As my friends begin to get engaged and married I have decided it’s about time I meet my soul mate. Since certain statistics indicate I won’t be meeting said person out on the town and I haven’t yet achieved this goal, I am hitting up the Internet. I was told that it is free to look so I recently ventured over to E-Harmony to fill out my personality profile. 150 million hours later I am convinced that the only people that have found love on this site are that business owner and artist named Jake or Tom from the commercial.
The reason I believe this is because the personality profile is fairly bogus. I know some Doctor invented it and it is supposedly fairly comprehensive, however in this case comprehensive merely means long versus in depth. Essentially, the insight gleaned is that I think I am fabulous, witty, and gorgeous and I am looking for a nice, intelligent, and handsome man. Shockingly I had several matches immediately based on this intense analysis. I am all for the net, as long as it’s not some rapey type of chat room, but with the formula they apply the chances that a self proclaimed awesome person finds others that find themselves awesome are slightly skewed.
The fact of the matter is, I do find myself to be amazing and I think I should find someone great, but I am thinking E-harmony is not the spot. Considering the fact that I do not often welcome harmony into other sectors of my life, why would I find harmonious Internet love? I know that everyone knows somebody that met his or her future spouse on the E-Harm, but I am thinking I am not sweet enough to meet my match in this forum. I feel that I need a slightly grittier Internet outlet. Plus, word is they hate the gays, so that clearly will not work out. I feel that I have taken the first step in Internet dating, by ruling out one site. Now the task is to find more and then actually join them. Stay tuned- Internet boyfriend to come.