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“Hello My name is Marissa and I have a cat.”

When I first picked up my new fluff ball of perfection from Animal Control 5 beautiful years ago I told myself “Self, don’t get too weird with the cat thing”.

I then immediately began to get extremely weird with the cat thing. It started innocently enough. I live alone, I have a fear of rodents, a cat could both serve and protect. I would just be a girl who happens to have a cat. Nobody really needed to know. Having a cat didn’t need to define me by any means. Until I realized they make cat Rasta wigs… and bowties… and my mom discovered a bevy of other cat sundries including the most flamboyant Christmas outfit one has ever seen.

The next thing I knew my life was consumed with cat eccentricities. Photos, more bowties, more cat costumes, a holiday card. Needless to say I have taken the cat lady thing to a whole new level and I have to say I am totally okay with it. Here are some of my favorite cat themed items for your viewing pleasure.

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I don’t regret this in the slightest. YOLO.

I look at this every day before I go to work.
I look at this every day before I go to work.

This was a gift from mom, hanging proudly in my bathroom.

This was a gift from Mom, hanging proudly in my bathroom.

I think after this mom gift I had to talk with her about toning down the kitty gifts. This I do regret.

I think after this one from Mom I had to talk with her about toning down the kitty gifts. This I do regret.

The fact that he wears this hat even for a moment illustrates his angelic nature.

The fact that he wears this hat even for a moment illustrates his angelic nature.

I just have a lot of feelings…

Nostalgia is incredible. I would venture that beyond love it is the strongest emotion. Basically, it is one of the most feelingy feelings I have. I trend towards sentimental, it’s party of my senility, so I recently I got to reminiscing about some notable past moments. Only I can make a day of mulling over nostalgia, however I went with it. Most often I think of these instances as I drift to sleep, performing my own brand agnostic equivalent to prayer so that I may revisit them in my dreams.

This strategy of time travel rarely works and when it does I am so caught off guard I can’t properly enjoy it, wasting most of the dream trying to decipher its reality.  This is getting a little too mushy, moving on. Whenever possible, these are the moments I most savor.

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Bowls of snow with warm maple syrup. Or more accurately forcing my beloved Beauty Senior to enjoy this wonderful delight.

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Getting penny candy at nearby Old fashioned candy stores. Satellite wafers, weighing essentially nothing offering the greatest deal of eternity, until they figured this out stopped charging by weight. Sad day for all of us.

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Digging clams in sun or rain, or any weather condition for that matter. With my Mom. This mostly consisted of gossiping and standing in the water.

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Our annual Christmas Tree cutting excursion. Nothing is better than picking a perfect tree with cider, carols, and family.

There are many more, but these are the simplest ones that I revisit most often. I wish all of you the best of luck reminiscing, and if you find yourself face to face with favored moments in your dreams try to relax and enjoy them all over again. What are your favorite moments?

My so called budget life.

The other day I looked at my bank account and I was assaulted with the fact that I have a balance of $46.15. Don’t worry I don’t have to move into a cardboard box yet, I have a few more months of craftily shifting funds from one account to another before I need to dejectedly wave my white flag, however I decided it was time to create a budget. In the event you are as confused by this concept as I am, a budget is possible when one comprehends the amount of money one produces and then determines a reasonable amount of said income to dedicate to predetermined categories.

The ideal would be to allocate a percentage of income to necessities such as bills, housing, utilities, and sustenance with a surplus to put into another nebulous concept called a savings account.  Since I digest tangible goals more readily than whimsical theory, I have broken this down into some general guidelines for myself. Here is what to do, or more accurately what not to do.

  1. It is time to accept the fact that you absolutely must take public transit everywhere you go. I don’t care that you are sweating profusely on half of Manhattan and it take 3-17 times longer than it should reasonably take to get anywhere, get on the damn bus and don’t get off until you aren’t on the brink of eviction.

    *Note this is an inaccurate depiction of NYC public transit.

    *Note this is an inaccurate depiction of NYC public transit.

  2. Stop acting like a college frat boy. You know how to cook, steam some vegetables… the Seamless guys are frightened. Your credit card almost got denied today because you ordered something that was NOT Seamless. You have a problem.
  3. In relation to point 2. It is actually not fiscally responsible to buy new clothes vs. washing the ones you already have.  Additionally if you steam more vegetables and order less seamless you might fit into more than 3% of your wardrobe. This is a win-win.
  4. Maybe consider cutting back on Happy Hour. Cheers is a great show, but bartenders should stop knowing your name. It’s sad.  Unless you are the bartender from The Girl and the Goat in Chicago. If you are, my name is Marissa and please call me immediately.
  5. I think this is a good start; let’s not go bonkers here.

I hope these financial tips help you as much as I hope they help me. Suze Orman would be proud.