Posts from the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

Scrunchie Woman

As displayed in an earlier post I was experiencing some feelings of discontent this evening. Thus, in an attempt to better myself I proactively decided to clear my head by attending a yoga class. Apparently people do this sort of thing to feel better about themselves and find inner peace and harmony. It is here that one becomes in touch with her inner soul and maintains a balance between her own peace of mind and the karma of the world. However, while the rest of the class twisted and writhed themselves into little pretzels of Zen, all I could think about was the fact that the check in woman was wearing a scrunchie. With every backward bend and every spinal twist, all I could see was this be-scrunchied pony tail sashaying in the breeze. No one has a ponytail that actually gains this much momentum on its own. How was it swaying around with such power and force? Does the scrunchie add enough weight to cause the ponytail to have additional swing? Needless to say with the addition of tapered jeans, Nirvana was NOT achieved. After being tortured by my thoughts of disdain for scrunchie- woman I discovered that she was actually the nicest woman EVER. She told me to have a wonderful night and to take care. Due to her friendly demeanor, I was then plagued by feelings of guilt for feeling so strongly about her hair accessory. In conclusion, I think I have finally realized I am not good at yoga. As much as I try to empty my head, no matter how much I try to focus on my powerhouse or my third eye all I can think about is scrunchies. Maybe I am just not meant to be calm. Maybe I am just meant to be all worked up. However, I will keep trying, maybe I’ll pack some Nag Champa or Patchouli to increase my yoga street cred. That ought to help a bit.

Post Holiday Blues

I got the blues. I am not the kind of person who gets depressed during the Holidays or stressed before, but once that tree is down and the ball has dropped I immediately begin to plummet. It really isn’t fair to have so much fun having packed into a one month span of time. And now that my Valentine’s Day will be spent at the Springhill Suites in Schaumburg, IL I do not even have a pink jello shot balla affair to look forward to. I just have several months of Palm Tree laiden loneliness. I made a New Year’s Resolution to be more positive about my stint in SoFla. I mean it really could be a lot worse. Obviously I could be ill, or homeless, or I could have a mob hit out on me. But as it stands I have a stable job, a cute (a bit granny-ish, but cute) apt, a swimming pool, and food to eat. I have all the essentials. Except for my friends and family. Over the past two Holidays I have come to realize just how important these two factors are in my life and overall happiness. Althought I haven’t been exactly my jolly self since migrating south, it has been bearable due to frequent phoning and e-mailing to those from which I am separated. But as soon as I step off that little plane at LaGuardia its like the joy joice will not stop flowing. This past week I was shown by each and everyone of my friends and family members that not only do they love me, but they know me well enough to be there for me in just the ways that I need. My mother was always there with the essential back rub, my father the essential glass of wine, my sister, the essential “i will just agree with this girl so that she doesn’t kill anyone”. My brother with all of the wisdom and sage advice he can muster. I was never without the imperative ice down, olive or cheese snack, witty comment, or inside joke. And of course the fact that I had to leave this cozy oasis of comfort and joy has caused my world to once again come crashing down. Fortunately, I had two of my very best friends help me catch my flight back to the Fort because without that support I think I may have opted to spend the rest of my life on a street corner or hidden in the Met like that wonderful novel “The mixed up files of Basil sometherother” . I love meeting new people, but I have to say there is something so wonderful about being with people that know who I am without having to explain myself. I know I am too young for menopause, but I get hotflashes okay? I have a really odd obsession with small, plump, fuzzy animals. I wish I were Jewish and not Catholic. And I really love that my friends and family not only accept this quirks but actually humor them. This one is for you guys. I love you All and I hope that in time I can be there for you as much as you have for me.

More Fuzziness!!!

I am sorry, but I just need to share these little FUZZIES with everyone!!!! There is just too much cuteness for me to keep just for myself!

Hi My name is Marissa and I’m…

Addicted to top 10 Lists… Maybe its because I have a short attention span, or because of all those Communication classes, but my favorite format has to be the list! But to the point! As I was driving home from my unbelievably hot date with Gym tonight I found myself surrounded by a euphoric haze. What was the cause of this haze you may wonder? Although there were high levels of endorphins created during my spinning class I believe it more had to do with the glow created by each and every palm tree, roof, and bush plastered with Christmas lights. This experience inspired me to share with all of my loyal readers why I love the Holiday season.

1. Christmas decorations like said lights. This is a time for people to share their personal decorating style with the general public. There are the minimalists with simple candles in windows, those with Blow up Reindeer and Frosty’s , and those wholesome religious types (like myself until the age of 12) who choose to adorn their lawns with manger scenes including all the wise men, farm animals, and hay for authenticity. The way one chooses to decorate her lawn during the Holidays is like a window into the soul.

2. BAKING! I love baking, but during the general year often times feel pangs of guilt for such high fat, high sugar foods. Once Thanksgiving hits “It’s a Holiday” becomes my ticket to baking and consuming whatever my little heart desires. Gingerbread houses, chocolate cherry cookies, cathedral ceilings, Pumpkin pies, you name it, I bake it.

3. My Santa Claus hat. I am a big hat person. What a fabulous excuse not to brush your hair! However, most times I can’t pull off this look. However, who doesn’t look good in a Santa hat?? NO ONE!!!! This acutally also applies to my red plaid apron and my technicolor red turtleneck sweater. Nothing says Christmas is here like said outfit.

4. Christmas Carols. I am a terrible singer. However, I love to sing. After working in retail during at least 2 Holiday seasons, I still can safely say I never get sick of Carols.

5. Christmas Postcards… I love these. What a great way to see pictures of growing families and people you rarely get to see! As well as a charming reminder of those you do!

6. The possibility of a white Christmas. Alright Floridians, I know this warm weather is comfortable for you… but you are really missing out! There is nothing better than waking up to the sound of silence and the smell of sizzling bacon, then you rollllll over and see nothing but white!!! I can’t imagine waking up on Christmas morning and feeling hot. I can’t wait for snow men, sleigh rides, and Fort building!!!!(This actually translates into a day filled with laying around, not showering, and possibly making cocoa).

7. Work Christmas Parties!!! I don’t actually get one of these, but all my friends that work in offices have Work Christmas Parties!! I can’t really imagine this other than to picture Bridget Jones singing on top of the piano, but I feel it would be fantastic!!!

8. Egg NOG! Egg Nog is actually quiete sickening. As a skim milk drinker, it is quite a leap into a whole new consistency, however like I previously mentioned “Its a Holiday!”.

9. Rusty and Buttons- No one will know what I am talking about with the exception of one Caitlin Brady, but lets just say its a childhood favorite, quite a fabulous Christmas flick.

10. STOCKINGS!!! Thanks to my fabulous new Sister in Law- we now have jumbo personalized, hand knit stockings. Not only are they most adorable addition to our Fireplace EVER, they fit way more PRESENTS!!!!

Okay I love Christmas, its a fact, this will be one of many posts on the subject. But let me add that I love Chanukah as well. I really do. I love menorahs, the prayer, latkes… all of it. But alas, it is time for me to admit I am not a Jew… hence the Gentile focus.

And a partridge in a pear tree

During this season of Yuletide cheer and resolutions soon to be forgotten, I figure it would behoove me to share a few tips with my faithful readers. I am an excellent source of social grace, not because I generally possess it but because I am exceptionally sensitive to others’ shortcomings. If you heed my advice I can guarantee that I will not fantasize about egging your house or forking your yard. In addition you will have the joyous satisfaction of having my seal of approval and being a Good Samaritan.

Without further ado, the 12 steps you can take toward me not wanting to egg your house:

1. Do not tape that Volvo commercial with that alien child telling that incoherent story about a man with a tiny head and make me watch it over and over (this should be a freebie)
2. When we are at dinner please do not ever answer the phone (unless you are waiting for a call about your mother’s condition in the hospital)
3. Do not whine (especially if it is to get me to do something like vacuum)
4. Unless you are my mother, my teacher, or boss do not tell me what to do unless I ask
5. Do not vanish into thin air without any sort of explanation
6. Do not tell me something that you think I want to hear, say what you mean and MEAN it (this also should be a freebie, but apparently it is quite difficult)
7. Don’t ever be rude to a restaurant server unless she is rude to you first (this actually applies to anyone in the service industry)
8. Do stop to admire at least a few pets and babies during your day to day life
9. Do offer to carry something for a little frail lady
10. Do exchange kind words with a few strangers per day
11. Do offer to get everyone in the room a beverage when you rise to get one for yourself
12. Do return phone calls, e-mails, and messages in a prompt manner, if I am reaching out to you it means I miss you and want to hear from you

Get Ready for a Big Gulp of the Haterade!

Dear Babel,

I hate you. You robbed me of two perfectly good hours of my life during which I could have enjoyed any number of other films that would have been more carefully crafted than yours or at least most likely would not have made me want to hang myself from the movie projector. Did you not attend grammar school? During these glorious years I acquired many skills, one of which was how to formulate ideas. You see ideas (or thoughts) are generally things that you think of that are new and innovative. Generally you will think of one and then say aloud to your friend or neighbor “I have an idea”. At this point you will share this idea and it will elicit a response such as “Oh good idea” or “I don’t like that idea”. Never when you have an alleged “idea” should someone, such as the audience at Babel when informed the movie was based off the idea of some overpaid birdbrain in Hollywood, say, “What was the idea?” That means there was in fact no idea at all. Another concept covered in grammar school was the “idea” that in order to write a story there are a few guidelines one must follow. The first is that there should be a beginning, middle, and end to the story. If a story has a particularly poignant, yet abstract idea, perhaps this structure can be forgone, however as previously mentioned, for Babel this was not the case. There may have been a feeble attempt at an idea, but it was clouded over with absolutely asinine scenes filled with nude Asian preteens, make out sessions over bedpans, and a pre-pubescent Moroccan boy spying on his naked sister. I am fairly certain the point/idea that this movie was inspired by is the fear and misconceptions that most Americans have in terms of different cultures. I know you were trying to show how the media misconstrues events. I know you tried to humanize the issues of terrorism and immigration. But honey, you failed. I am no filmmaker, but I can tell you that this movie was so horrifyingly bad that as a die-hard liberal you couldn’t even convince me. Babel you were so awful I would almost consider becoming a Republican because of you. I hope you are happy.

Love,

Marissa

Did I mention I love fuzzies???

As previously mentioned I adore little fuzzy animals! I just recently started volunteering at my very own Humane Society of Broward County. This basically means I get to play with fuzzy little kittens all day long. There are so many adorable animals, I hope if you are ever looking to get a pet you check out your local humane society! Check out some of my squishy friends( portrayed below) that I bonded with this past Sunday.

Fuzzy Wuzzies!!!

Election Day!

As you may or may not know I recently moved to Florida. This was and continues to be a very big deal for me because as one friend pointed out to me I am essentially the very incarnation of the Northeast. I am a cable knit wearing, foliage loving, clam digging, lobster cracking Northerner with a wicked affection for hippie towns and politics bluer than the Nantucket Sound. When I first learned that my new home would be Florida I was frightened the only clubs in town would be the NRA and the the KKK. I’ll admit I was slightly ignorant, but seeing the color red on any map makes my head spin with visions of Cheney and Rumsfield (good riddance) dancing round my head. It didn’t help that there have been a few voting scandals in the past as well. There are actually people walking around that don’t vote, using the excuse that their vote won’t be counted anyway. Faith has been lost, but I am here to tell you it can be restored. On Tuesday I experienced the most uncomplicated voting experience of my short, but important voting lifetime! Although the issues were obfuscated, probably due to the fact that candidates’ campaigns were based more on character claims than issues, there was not a chad (with or without child, hanging or not) in sight! I breezed through, pushed a couple of buttons, and pressed VOTE. After pressing this lovely button, I walked away with the satisfaction of knowing I had done my part and that I helped make the state a touch bluer. With Tuesday’s results I feel reinvigorated about our Country’s future. But I am also weary. It is clear that the president’s popularity was rapidly decreasing and that the faith of the country was wavering. I fear that the Democrats have achieved this success based on the recent failures of the Republicans. And although I am pleased with anything that makes Democrats look more competent I hope that we have the change that this country so desperately needs. A toast to our success! And a toast to our future successes as well!!!