My so called budget life.
The other day I looked at my bank account and I was assaulted with the fact that I have a balance of $46.15. Don’t worry I don’t have to move into a cardboard box yet, I have a few more months of craftily shifting funds from one account to another before I need to dejectedly wave my white flag, however I decided it was time to create a budget. In the event you are as confused by this concept as I am, a budget is possible when one comprehends the amount of money one produces and then determines a reasonable amount of said income to dedicate to predetermined categories.
The ideal would be to allocate a percentage of income to necessities such as bills, housing, utilities, and sustenance with a surplus to put into another nebulous concept called a savings account. Since I digest tangible goals more readily than whimsical theory, I have broken this down into some general guidelines for myself. Here is what to do, or more accurately what not to do.
- It is time to accept the fact that you absolutely must take public transit everywhere you go. I don’t care that you are sweating profusely on half of Manhattan and it take 3-17 times longer than it should reasonably take to get anywhere, get on the damn bus and don’t get off until you aren’t on the brink of eviction.
- Stop acting like a college frat boy. You know how to cook, steam some vegetables… the Seamless guys are frightened. Your credit card almost got denied today because you ordered something that was NOT Seamless. You have a problem.
- In relation to point 2. It is actually not fiscally responsible to buy new clothes vs. washing the ones you already have. Additionally if you steam more vegetables and order less seamless you might fit into more than 3% of your wardrobe. This is a win-win.
- Maybe consider cutting back on Happy Hour. Cheers is a great show, but bartenders should stop knowing your name. It’s sad. Unless you are the bartender from The Girl and the Goat in Chicago. If you are, my name is Marissa and please call me immediately.
- I think this is a good start; let’s not go bonkers here.
I hope these financial tips help you as much as I hope they help me. Suze Orman would be proud.